Someone to go with! Fear of being alone. It is strange how so many believe that travelling alone is really difficult - even not possible or too dangerous. The truth is it is not and 'not having someone to go with' is often just one of many excuses used for why some don’t follow travel aspirations.
Although the advice here is essentially 'don't worry and
just do it', it's not fair to gloss over this subject in such a manner as it's
enormously difficult to give an accurate picture of the experience of travelling
alone, since it can vary significantly and is almost always filled with highs and
lows. There are a number of factors to take into consideration, from luck to
the time of year and most importantly destination and personality.
Nonetheless, honestly speaking the best advice to those who are worried about being alone
abroad or feel not having anyone to go with is preventing them from travelling
is to remember that travelling alone is far, far better than not travelling
at all and that there are many lone travellers, both male and female,
all over the world right now (certainly it is seemingly a much more popular
option with Japanese and Korean travellers than with westerners). Pick an easy
country to start with (say, Singapore or New Zealand) and one where you speak the local language (social interaction with locals really helps) and go. It will be the
best thing you ever do - consider it the advantage it can be and not the disadvantage
many see it as. The thing is you won't be alone all the time as making friends, chatting with locals
and teaming up with people is often easy. You will, when alone, meet and talk
to far more people than if with a partner and especially locals, who are much
more likely to invite you into their lives.
The flip side is not every
day is great: you will undoubtedly find yourself in a situation where things
don't go so fantastically and not having someone to share those frustrations
with or to lend a helping hand can be a little depressing. Getting sick whilst
travelling is the perfect example. You will also have days when you won't have
a significant conversation with anyone which can certainly get you down. Finally luck plays
a big part with who you meet - you might meet some great people to travel with
in a remote destination (interesting people are found in interesting places)
and then on hitting a backpacker hub like Thailand find
yourself isolated despite hordes of other travellers (or the opposite can happen).
Signing up for local day tours is a great way to meet people, as is approaching
others to share taxis from airports, bus or train stations. Both are easy to
do and in the case of the latter very handy since this is when you feel your
most alone. In developed countries, staying in hostels and using
shared transport aimed at backpackers
puts you in touch with a lot of people. To many this advice is unnecessary as
they may well be confident in themselves and well travelled, although that's
not everyone. It does take courage to head off alone, but you won't be the only
one and if you have doubt as to just how you will fare at least find out. Most
of the world is yours to explore and not, as the media would have us believe,
some big bad dangerous entity that will eat you alive the moment you step off
the plane.
For single women the question of whether
to go solo is of course, a much more difficult question. Certainly it's
worth thinking more carefully about travelling without previous experience alone
in places like Northern India or Arab/Muslim countries, since men can give you
somewhat more attention than you require. Lone females do sometimes attract
such attention and it can be frustrating, annoying and at its worst, quite scary,
although a lot of it is fairly harmlessly, derived from the fact that a lot of
males (South Asians in particular) have warped ideas about women.
It can't be totally prevented, any more than it can be in your home country, but
it can be minimised with general common-sense such as dressing conservatively,
having a more planned route with a few advanced bookings and being assertive
when required. What is nice to know is that in many, many destinations women
won't get any hassle and where such hassle can occur you will find women only
queues and seating areas on trains and buses, and that you are generally looked
after by locals who often take you under their wing. If heading off as a lone
female you probably don't need to be told, but all the
advice about staying safe on this
site needs following to the tenth degree, particularly that about walking in
secluded areas after dark.
All this said, lone female travellers are not uncommon
and such a venture is quite manageable and far, far from being unnecessarily
dangerous given the correct attitude. Travelling alone, whether male or female you are
going to have to be generally more on your guard (read
this). In less travelled countries (like Central Asia or West Africa)
unless you are outgoing, travelling alone can be miserable with fewer
creature comforts, possible language barriers and fewer travellers to
meet. To summarise: your feelings regarding the outcome of your trip
are probably going to be mixed. Guaranteed will be some great experiences
and a sense of fulfilment and confidence, but you are probably going
to also recall a day or two when you were down in the dumps... all in
all you're going to remember the good bits.
For those contemplating travelling alone just remember the advice above: alone is always better
than not at all. What's more, it beats the pants off taking a totally
organised tour and more often than not it opens doors to the very best
experiences travel has to offer. Let's not forget there can also be many
negative issues when travelling with friends, partners or relatives!
Travelling alone, whether male or female you are
going to have to be generally more on your guard (read
this). In less travelled countries (like Central Asia or West Africa)
unless you are outgoing, travelling alone can be miserable with fewer
creature comforts, possible language barriers and fewer travellers to
meet. To summarise: your feelings regarding the outcome of your trip
are probably going to be mixed. Guaranteed will be some great experiences
and a sense of fulfilment and confidence, but you are probably going
to also recall a day or two when you were down in the dumps... all in
all you're going to remember the good bits.
For those contemplating travelling alone just remember the advice above: alone is always better
than not at all. What's more, it beats the pants off taking a totally
organised tour and more often than not it opens doors to the very best
experiences travel has to offer. Let's not forget there can also be many
negative issues when travelling with friends, partners or relatives!
When
travelling to a new country it's useful to learn who the country's leading
football players, movie stars or cricketers are. It's a great way to
start a conversation in any bar and if you have some knowledge of their
sporting or film stars, it will endear you to the locals (well the
male half at least).
All the above advice also
applies to older travellers. Don't be put off - again just
like couples and single travellers there are many older travellers enjoying
life in exotic places around the world. Age is no major hindrance to independent
travel on a budget and it is easy to make friends and to pay a little bit extra
for luxury when required.
Comment: 'I did an 18 month world trip in 2011-2012 and, until now, had yet to find a site so in sync with my take on travel. Wish I had found you before I left. By the way, I turned 60 while on my trip, so anyone thinking this kind of travel is just for the young, should think again.'
"We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness."